Much Ado About Making Love With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It’s been a big few days for homosexual-related very first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

Our first piece comes to us via xojane, the ladies’s website headed upwards by Jane Pratt (my character)

(i am major) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Entitled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this part belongs to the “it just happened in my experience” function that also existed at JANE mag and consists mostly of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively interesting personal experiences.

The private author of this part, which I’ll phone “Ariel,” is bisexual, but because she readily supplies hit jobs to the woman male associates but does not day or frequently go-down on females, she is, she clarifies, commercially, just a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She in addition identifies herself as “mostly right” and “direct” at some other factors for the story.) Her reputation started, she clarifies, whenever the woman first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke called Kelly at the woman university — went down on the for an hour. She la-la-la-loved it right after which straight away fled the scene fearing her very own inability to execute these fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such an extended duration.

She produces:

“not surprisingly, word got around that she and I had hooked up hence I would left the lady clinging, which in fact had the strange effect of giving myself folk-heroine standing. Kelly called me personally a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I was one. It was like some type of flick conceit the spot where the character is actually mistaken for a high profile and extends to drive in a limo and remain in an elegant hotel caused by it.”

This seemingly totally resolved in her benefit, as she romped about in school starting up with many “aggressive kinds exactly who had gotten off from the indisputable fact that I happened to be reluctant to leave a female touch myself.” Post-college, she moved on to your internet, in which she promoted the girl calm position and quite often came across with women for NSA sex.

Around the end she problematically clarifies that whenever hooking up with a woman she actually is perhaps not keen on, she simply shuts the woman eyes and envisions another person “while [the lesbian] really does her thing.” Often it appears like she desires women to eat the woman away just because they can be allegedly much better at it than the male is. She

could

go lower in it but “I am not dating all of them, and I also do not think I would desire my personal fetish corrupted by caring for somebody enough to give back.”

I mightnot want to sit down close to Ariel on a plane, but her one-sided sexual experiences are consensual and she’s just telling a real tale of her existence, therefore I’m not really yes what things to label of this (and I also’m interested to understand what you will be making of it, if any such thing).

Subsequently, on Jezebel (via
The Nice Guys Venture
) we have
We Married a Lesbian (and I also’m some guy)
. The author, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended to get crushes on the same types of girl: the star baseball player, the football ahead, the swimmer. Some had been lesbians. Some weren’t.” The guy questioned:

What is it that drew me personally frequently to ladies who were same-sex attracted? It really was not the stereotypical male fantasy with what these were doing during intercourse, also it definitely had nothing at all to do with a macho opinion that I could change a gay woman straight.

In parts, the portion (which does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded me for this quotation from

Girls Next Door

,
that I cited in articles about feminine manliness
:

“…if we’d to create an added generalization about lesbian taste, it would be that many united states are incredibly attracted to ladies, homosexual or directly, gorgeous or otherwise not, whom look just as if they could handle by themselves.”

The writer eventually marries a lesbian exactly who delivered as direct, and he discovered their own causing sexual life are unsatisfactory. She refused to provide him blow jobs and don’t love entrance but joyfully approved their offerings of cunnilingus. When their sexless marriage concluded in divorce and a drug relapse (for him), he is relatively compassionate to their ex-wife’s endeavor in place of marking her as misleading (as much associated with the commenters perform):

She had result from a conventional family who would are seriously embarrassed getting a homosexual youngster. She may have known, but did their far better conceal it, possibly wishing that the woman emotions might alter. Or she may have been like more than a few females i have known, and only discovered the woman genuine sexual identity after already becoming married to a person.

What’s redeeming relating to this article to me that the writer’s conception of his or her own sex is certainly caused by free from the standard masculine posturing any might expect in a bit such as this (he even makes reference to themselves as “femmy”). Maybe it just seems that means because males therefore seldom talk about wanting powerful, athletic, powerful women with short-hair; but it is refreshing nevertheless.

I really don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for telling their own stories, but it’s worth discussing that both narratives apparently drive in the idea that bedroom behavior will be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s organization, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a “warning indication” he skipped, whenever penetration is actually barely a specifically heterosexual work (this indicates more inclined Courtney feared the intimacy of entrance with men she did not wish becoming with, yet who knows) and dropping crazy, ultimately, is approximately your snatch but it’s in addition about your heart and it’s really largely about having intimate feelings. Those romantic thoughts are the thing that transforms a hook-up union into a relationship, most likely.

At long last at

neurological.com

we a nice tale directly through the pony’s mouth —
My Personal First-time: Female. 17. San Francisco Bay Area
. I do believe this is the first time the “First Time” series has included a lesbian.

Basically, in ninth quality, the writer confessed to the woman companion that she had lesbian feelings for her, along with her best friend reciprocated, plus they proceeded to continue a covert lesbian union and they are nonetheless together today and she actually is a grown-up when you look at the military!

This indicates they have but to just take their unique connection outside of the cabinet, that’s some puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: ends up this tale was composed before DADT had been repealed, though it just adopted released, thus there’s nothing puzzling going on here. This is just straight-up nice atlanta divorce attorneys method, unequivocally.]

The focus in the part (basically extremely precious and sweet) is on the author’s breakthrough of
what lesbian sex IS
:

We’d never come down on every additional, and I also was actually confident that’s what we might meant when we mentioned we wanted to make love. (Now I understand that there’s even more to fucking than slurping a lady’s vagina and phoning it a day.)

She concludes:

I understand that many people disagree about what virginity ways to a gay girl, but virginity is wholly subjective, and it also actually relies upon whom you’re inquiring. Some people might say penetration has to be involved, but I think its up to the individual shedding his/her virginity. Easily feel i have missing my virginity, after that goddammit, I have!

I’ve spent the majority of the early morning and afternoon looking at wordpress, trying to puzzle out exactly what point I could make about any of these parts. I imagined much about the reason we’d never ever release “I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about this website but can not see through the reason that I would fear 50 people would vow not to come back here in addition to remaning many-thousands people would combat with one another about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure up until the heating death of the market. I envisioned someone posting “I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via mail following I thought the editorial meeting where we might reach that story and all state “NO” additionally.

Best of lists: adultdatelink

In looking for a spot to gleam from all of these tales, I made an effort to figure out what you’d consider or state, and I are unable to, and I would you like to complete this post as quickly as possible to speed up the entire process of myself determining how you feel about these stories. Yup, the very first time since beginning Autostraddle, i have had gotten no clue what you should state about something. Therefore maybe I should just ask you to answer — what’s your a reaction to these pieces?